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Here's the scoop... Is it a coincidence? I think not!
The Sheep have added two new members... one Elizabeth Urello and one Johnny Costello. Two Italians.
Apparently, the "Mafia" is exerting some form of pressure on top Black Sheep management to make these additions.
Get Well Soon!
In other Black Sheep news, veteran Sheepster Mark Henderson has been seen around town with casts on both legs... apparently he "fell" into a vat of ball-peen hammers and shattered both his knee-caps. Good thing the Sheep picked up two new players to fill that gap on-stage!
Megan Hovde and Christine Sinacore ELOPE!
In a turn of events so painful I can scarcely even write about them, the love of my life, one CHRISTINE SINACORE, has eloped with Megan Hovde, caving in to a love that dare not speak it's name.
I don't blame Ms. Hovde for stealing CHRISTINE away from me... she is clearly made of nothing but the purest light. Sure, I'll kill her for it, but Ms. Hovde was only following her heart.
BUT WHY TAKE HER TO NEW YORK CITY??? Isn't it enough that I'm forced to concede that my love has left my life? Did you have to take her out of my field of vision, too?
Fine. Two can play at this game, I've already decided to become fixated on Deborah Millstein.
Deborah Millstein has a new admirer!
See, Christine? I'm over you already.
*sob*
Todd Edwards Suffers From Mysterious Dropping Disease
Scientists from various esteemed medical institutes have confirmed that Todd Edwards is currently suffering from the first ever diagnosed case of Dropping Disease. Although saddened by this news, Edwards happily announced that he was able to hold his car keys for over 15 seconds yesterday before they fell to the ground.
O'Rourke new nightclub big-wig!
I overheard a recent conversation between Ed O'Rourke and Black Sheep super-fan Tony Mendoza in which I BELIEVE I heard Ed claim to have bought the Aragon Ballroom! Now, I might be mistaken about that, because when Ed caught sight of me staring in the window at him, he ran out of Starbucks and pulled me off my Schwinn. He proceeded to thrash me so badly that my eyes are currently too swollen to see.
Apparently Ed's new nightclub ownership will overwhelm his ability to be on the Sheep... and that means I CAN RIGHTFULLY KILL HIM WHERE HE STANDS! That restraining order keeps me away from current Sheep only, Ed.
See you soon!
Swanson doesn't like TV dinners
The irony is not lost on me.
Gossip Here I'll include some of the juicier stuff I hear. No guarantee of the accuracy of what you read in this column!
For instance, I have heard that Henderson is starting his own line of sleeveless sweatshirts . Look for them in stores soon!
Also, I hear through the grapevine that Ray Mees has a large collection of antique money clips. Ray, have I misjudged you?? Is there more to you than a passion for alcohol?
Finally, Ceasar Jaime has been heard in the various improv theaters and the bars that serve them telling anyone that will listen to him that he is the Anti-Christ. I'm not sure if he really knows what that means, though.
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